Surviving the pain of sexual abuse!

Recent sexual abuse cases that have come to the fore highlight the extent of the problem. PT examines the issue and how victims need immediate attention
Sexual abuse and incest have made headlines in the past few days internationally as well as nationally be it the Joseph Fritzl case, the Mira Road case or other cases that have sprung up in Nagpur and Amritsar.And, this is just the tip of the iceberg. So many cases go unreported only because the victims have been threatened by their perpetrators or because they don���t muster enough courage to confide in someone. And, even if they do so, many a times their tragic tales are hushed under the carpet for the sake of family honour. The incestuous relationship, rape and enslavement in the Joseph Fritzl case that rocked Austria continued for 24 years! In the Mira Road case where the father sexually abused his daughter for nine years along with a tantrik till the girl mustered the courage to speak about the issue. The latest on the cases is that the guilty have been arrested and the victims are going though psychological counselling and therapy.
SURVIVING THE TRAUMA
Rehabilitation is a difficult process and it may take a lot of time for the victims to come out of the trauma and lead normal lives. Surviving the pain of such relationships is worse, say psychologists. Says Dr Varkha Chulani, a clinical psychologist, ���The victims should be told not to blame themselves or feel ashamed about their inability to talk or express themselves when they were going through the abuse. They need to look at possible solutions and not wallow in self-pity. This will make a huge difference in getting back to a normal life.���
She continues, ���The victims should be made to realise that by talking about the incident they will be able to endure the pain of the moment and the support that she gets will emotionally increase her stamina. They need to prepare themselves for all the discomfort that will be caused once the case comes out in the open. They also need to prepare themselves to bear up with all the family problems that will ensue later when the issue comes out in the open. After all this, they must know that they will feel better about themselves in the long run.���
The worst thing about these cases is when the pleasure factor comes into play. Says Varkha, ���We are human and even in a sexual abuse, the victim does feel sexually stimulated and may, in a way, enjoy it. Herein emerges a huge conflict when the pleasure factor comes into play. The person experiences guilt and shame and hatred towards self. But the person must understand that it is just a bodily reaction to the sexual stimulation and nothing else.���
The reason why people keep quiet about abuse is they aren���t comfortable telling their elders about it. ���But it is the duty of parents to empower their children by telling them to have regard for his/her body and that nobody has the right to violate his/her body. In a way it���s good that these cases have come up and blown the lid off such practices. The media too has become more vigilant about such cases,��� she says.
ROAD TO RECOVERY
The road to recovery is not always smooth. People who are subject to sexual abuse go through a host of personality problems later on in life, says Dr Harish Shetty, a clinical psychologist. ���It can cause post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and depression in the victims. And hence they need to go though proper therapy.���
He continues, ���The victims need to get help which focusses on surviving the ordeal. They need to accept that time will not heal the wounds, but active therapy will help them to review the whole procedure. At a time when their emotional growth is warped, relatives and friends can help them by being compassionate, warm and affectionate towards them. This will go a long way in reconstructing the person���s psyche through therapy.���
���Also, the media needs to act responsibly as lesser the spotlight, the faster will be the recovery and better the therapy,��� he says.